Next Wednesday is Valentine’s Day, which brings us to the topic of Love and Loving. I have to confess that I’m a creature that falls in love at first sight. Sometimes it takes me a few days or weeks to recognize that this is what has happened to me but it does seem to be spontaneous. And why?
But, before I get into my thoughts on that subject, I’m doing a question and answer afternoon at one of our local bookstores, Bank Square Books, in Mystic, CT (Mystand in my book) on Sunday, February 11, at 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. And of course the subject to be discussed is my first book, A Bird and the Dragon: Their Love Story: A Memoir. The timing seems very appropriate with my book being about a vibrant and sustaining love with my second husband, Sy. Then we add to that the important issues that the five daughters in the blended family brought to our love.
Why do some of us fall in love almost as we meet while others of us warm slowly and cautiously? And then some of us play with the new partner—the relationship is working, no, it isn’t working! Yes, you are right that the approach may come from things that happened to us as children or even in our first romances. I want to throw in a curve and say that some of those spontaneous loves are because we have been with this soul energy in a past life and recognize this at some level. I wrote about Tino, my high school sweetheart, two or three weeks ago but what I didn’t tell you is that when I was in 7th grade I started drawing a face on my scrap paper. The face evolved into a young man with much curly dark hair, high cheekbones, dark brown eyes, a cleft chin, and a feeling of mystery to that face. I drew it over and over again from 7th grade until I was a sophomore in high school.
As a sophomore, on a day in early May, I walked into my English class with my armload of books and my pocketbook slung over my shoulder. I sat down, put the books on the desk, swung around to hang the pocketbook on the back of the chair, and as I turned to face the front of the classroom my drawn face was walking toward me up the aisle. No, it
was not a floating head—but the head of sturdy American Italian male with a dark complexion. Our eyes met and the shivers–I can still feel them–that ran up and down my spine were a very new experience. I can’t tell you more of the story now or it will blow my third book, Hunt the Beloved: To Find a Heart but when it came time for the first dance, he folded me into his arms and I felt like I was home. These experiences have to come from some other time. They are far too stirring and weighty to belong to a chance meeting.
If you have read my book A Bird and the Dragon or are about to go buy it and read it you will soon learn that one afternoon Sy and I were at a pond sitting on a beach talking while supervising daughters swimming. Half way through the afternoon Sy leaned toward me and said, “You, know, it feels like I’ve known you forever.” I had to agree with him for we had already gotten to the place where we were finishing each other’s sentences. That was the first date!
I have grown old enough that when this sort of thing happens to me now I’m inclined to stop and think about the possibilities of a relationship before I make a move. But even with the hesitation I believe the inner compass knows what we really need. This is the situation with the puppy that I talked about last week. I talked myself in and out of a relationship with one of these dogs and then I stepped back to watch the doggie cams the owner has posted on Facebook to see which of the pups would best fit with my older dog, Cara Cozy, and with my present day lifestyle. I believe Blaze Be-loved fits that spot well. Now we wait until he is old enough to come and join our household and pray that the inner compass was right all along.
How do or did you meet your loves and how did you know they were right for you? I’d like to hear from you. You can go to my web page www.jessiemaykessler and click on the Contact button.
My Little Bird 