If I remember correctly one of Dr. Phil’s famous lines is, “If Mamma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy.” I believe a lot of American families do live by this principle. My daughter Annie posted another similar saying on Facebook a while ago.
Two Rules to a Happy Family:
Rule number 1. Make the little wife happy.
Rule number 2. If you forget, slap yourself upside
the head and go back to rule number 1.
This is all a bit tongue-in-cheek but I do think that many of the happy homes in America are run this way. My second husband, Sy, and the hero of my book A Bird and the Dragon: Their Love Story: A Memoir lived his life in this manner and the result for me was the happiest thirty-five years of my entire life. This is all very sweet especially a few days after Valentine’s Day.
But while this is going on, the nation is erupting with women’s rage over the abuse and molestation that has gone on over hundreds, no thousands of years, by the males in society. As women gain more power in the workplace they are banding together to right a very old wrong: the use of power by size, by money, by influence to force someone else into a subservient role. It is time for this atrocity to end. But my concern right now is that women will succumb to the excitement of power and will use similar methods plus shaming to control men. I am hoping that wisdom, the gift that many women have, will not be traded in for the mental control usually used by men.
I don’t believe that women have to trade in their skirts and put on suits to become a recognized force in our society. I am hoping that women are wise enough to understand that swinging the scales into a position of dominance over men simply starts society on another cycle; but brings nothing into balance. It is when the two sexes use their separate but unique qualities, each for its appropriate task, that equality will be reached. When there is mutual respect for those separate and unique gifts, appreciated by each side of the aisle, then our society, our planet even, has a hope of becoming a better living environment.
Yes, Dr. Phil is right that it is the woman in the household that usually sets the
emotional tone of the home. After all, most of us women have been trained to think with our hearts first and our heads second. Okay I’m getting some stereotyping in there, too, but I do think because we have not cultivated the feeling side of men it seems to rest on the women to radiate the warmth and compassion that makes a home happy. So if bending a bit to keep her happy makes her warm the hearth, so be it. But remember, men also need to be cheered on, praised, given gifts and cards, and sometimes a sudden and unexpected gesture of love. Let’s keep the thoughtfulness of Valentine’s Day going through each day whether it is the man or the woman who makes the effort.
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